REVIEW: 13

"Pure garbage, I wouldn't wipe my ass with it."

A young man down on his luck and in need of some extra cash for his family, mistakenly stumbles upon an underground Russian Roulette syndicate which he's able to slip into at the last moment.  With the stakes clearly not in his favour, he must rely on luck and determination if there's to be any hope of survival.

Oh Hollywood, why do you continue to rape our eyes with such drivel?  I've never been opposed to B level action films, but I've never been disillusioned by them either.  The fact is, just because these types of films can be hit or miss, most times they miss by a long shot.  13 is a prime example of this theory and here are just a few reasons why you should never rent this film.

The premise/story is a lazy rip-off of a HOSTEL/HARD TARGET/SURVIVING THE GAME type scenario where instead of being abducted, people actually volunteer to play this ridiculous hybrid game of Russian Roulette.  It's all been done before, but better and with better actors or at the very least a better lead.  Who the hell is Sam Riley?  Nobody, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, I'm all for new blood to shake things up, but this guy is terrible.  Not only can't he act, the guy barely says five minutes of dialogue the entire film which I guess can be seen and both good and bad.  Not that it really matters though as this flick's polluted with familiar faces which I can only assume was to take the spotlight off Riley, but most of these faces are wasted and/or forgotten all too quickly. 

Let's start with Mickey Rourke.  I love the guy but his character is pointless, as is the fact he's joined by 50 Cent, whose character is even more pointless.  TRUE BLOOD's Alexander Skarsgard pops up as a driver who's clearly just there to "be seen" as is ENTOURAGE's sexy Emmanuelle Chriqui and DEXTER's David Zayas.  Yet, the worst example of this is Jason Statham.  He's splashed all over the trailer and cover like he's the man with the plan here, but again, he's barely there and comes off as a one dimensional throwaway character who nobody's rooting for.  You almost feel sorry for our lead whose Dad needs an operation the family can't afford (snore), but the guy's got no charisma, heart or soul, he's just there.  The nonchalant way he's squeezed into the game is questionable, just like his run in with the law afterward which he so conveniently talks his way out of.  Don't get too excited though, things don't exactly end well for him which also hurts the end result.

13 is a waste of time, film and talent, pure and simple.  How any of these people signed on for this nonsense is beyond me.  They must've been cut a decent pay check and told booze was on the house for the entire length of filming.  I understand some of these TV sensations wanting to get their faces out there by whatever means possible, but this is definitely not the way.  As for Statham, Rourke and Ray Winstone, they should be ashamed as this is below them.  Come on boys, quality over quantity wins the race.  Now whose up for some shots on the director!

This flick is nothing short of a big, crowded pissing contest that nobody wins, especially the viewer.  Some B flicks become hidden gems or cult favourites, ninety-nine percent of which aren't rolling with such a well known cast.  This movie could've been bang up fun like THE TOURNAMENT, but instead failed on virtually every level imaginable. 

  • Digg
  • Del.icio.us
  • StumbleUpon
  • Reddit
  • RSS

12 comments:

chenyingying9539 9539 said...

2015-7-15chenyingying9539
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton
retro jordans
hollister kids
abercrombie fitch
adidas outlet store
abercrombie
ralph lauren outlet
ray ban outlet
michael kors handbags
abercrombie kids
hollister
christian louboutin
cheap oakley sunglasses
tod's shoes
christian louboutin
tods outlet
chanel uk
jordan 6 cigar
gucci
chanel bags
louis vuitton outlet
christian louboutin outlet
burberry scarf
adidas outlet
hollister clothing
chanel handbags
jordan 4s
pandora charms
p90x workouts

Yuanyuan Lin said...

6.28lllllllyuanoakley sunglasses wholesale
louis vuitton handbags outlet
ray-ban sunglasses
michael kors wallet
ray ban sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
longchamp handbags
juicy couture tracksuit
prada sunglasses for women
swarovski outlet
ralph lauren polo
longchamp outlet online
links of london
cartier watches
nike roshe run
asics
ferragamo outlet
cheap ray ban sunglasses
polo ralph lauren
michael kors outlet
nike tn pas cher
ray ban sunglasses
tiffany and co
tory burch outlet online
michael kors outlet
mulberry outlet
tiffany jewellery
tory burch outlet
babyliss pro
police sunglasses for men
prada outlet online
soccer jerseys
michael kors clearance
mcm outlet
true religion jeans outlet
6.28

John said...

burberry bags
coach outlet online
moncler outlet online
michael kors outlet clearance
supra shoes
pandora charms
puma shoes
fitflops sale
louis vuitton bags
nike air max 95
nike air max 90
kobe 11
tory burch outlet online
true religion outlet
canada goose uk
birkenstock shoes
nike free 5.0
yeezy 350 boost
skechers shoes
adidas stan smith
michael kors outlet online
cheap oakley sunglasses
versace
longchamp bag
valentino outlet
timberland boots outlet
mizuno running shoes
cheap nike shoes
ralph lauren outlet
fitflops sale clearance
cartier watches
christian louboutin shoes
under armour shoes
michael kors uk
2016729yuanyuan

xjd7410@gmail.com said...

20160914 junda
michael kors handbags
ysl outlet
ugg sale
longchamp bag
coach outlet online
prada sunglasses
tory burch outlet
michael kors wholesale
louis vuitton bags
louis vuitton outlet stores
coach outlet
michael kors outlet
nfl jerseys wholesale
swarovski crystal
polo ralph lauren
cazal sunglasses
michael kors outlet online
tiffany jewellery
canada goose jackets
kobe 9
nike free running
rolex watches for sale
beats by dre
yeezy boost 350
ralph lauren polo
ray ban sunglasses sale
longchamp outlet
polo ralph lauren
tiffany outlet
futbol baratas
toms shoes
louis vuitton
tory burch outlet
timberland boots
cheap uggs
hermes belt
ugg boots
true religion outlet
oakley sunglasses
nike tn pas cher

chenmeinv0 said...

chanel bags
supra shoes
celtics jerseys
nike trainers uk
ed hardy shirts
louboutin pas cher
ralph lauren polo
cheap louis vuitton bags
lunettes ray ban
chaussures jordan
20171.14chenjinyan

Unknown said...

michael kors handbags
ralph lauren outlet
uggs outlet
fred perry polo shirts
ugg boots
gucci outlet
true religion outlet
louis vuitton
uggs outlet
cheap oakley sunglasses
chanyuan2017.01.23

raybanoutlet001 said...

toms outlet
nike tn
replica rolex
the north face
ralph lauren outlet
jimmy choo shoes
michael kors handbags
cheap oakley sunglasses
christian louboutin shoes
under armour shoes

Meiqing Xu said...

yeezy boost
louis vuitton outlet
louis vuitton outlet store
birkenstocks
michael kors outlet clearance
coach factory outlet
polo ralph lauren outlet online
michael kors
polo ralph lauren outlet
hermes handbags
20170304caiyan

Hua Cai said...

cheap ray bans
adidas nmd
rolex outlet
lacoste shirts
coach outlet online
fitflops
burberry outlet
ralph lauren polo shirts
louis vuitton handbags
gucci outlet online
20170321caihuali

raybanoutlet001 said...

nhl jerseys
basketball shoes
longchamp bags
michael kors handbags clearance
new balance shoes
converse shoes
oakley sunglasses
cheap nba jerseys
replica rolex
boston celtics jersey

Gege Dai said...

fitflops shoes
rolex watches,rolex watches,swiss watches,watches for men,watches for women,omega watches,replica watches,rolex watches for sale,rolex replica,rolex watch,cartier watches,rolex submariner,fake rolex,rolex replica watches,replica rolex
cheap oakley sunglasses
nike air max
christian louboutin shoes
oakley sunglasses
oakley sunglasses wholesale
chrome hearts
oakley sunglasses wholesale
nike store uk
20170406lck

chenmeinv0 said...

adidas nmd
toms shoes
polo ralph lauren
chanel handbags
polo ralph lauren
ray ban wayfarer
jordan 3
louis vuitton
cincinnati bengals jerseys
christian louboutin outlet
20174.19chenjinyan

Post a Comment