REVIEW: Movie 43

"This will make history as one of the worst movies of all time." 

A very random series of skits that will offend you, confuse you, sicken you and make you wonder if perhaps Hollywood is the root of all evil in this world.  You'll be pissed you wasted both your money and your time as you try and figure out why these people agreed to participate in this abomination.

I've written over two dozen four panel comic strips over the past four years so I understand how hard it is to be consecutively funny, it's a tough gig.  This is why I love comedies and respect the people who know how to play the game.  Spoof flicks have been a raw deal for years now and upon first seeing the trailer for MOVIE 43, that's the vibe I was getting.  I hoped I was wrong, and in a sense I was because even the worst spoof movie out there is at least vaguely better than this steaming pile of crap.

Now I use the word crap for a reason as this film (like many others) tries to use it as a form of humor.  Sigh.  Newsflash people, shit--in any sense or use of the term--is shit and shit ain't funny.  I loved Kevin Smith's DOGMA up until the whole shit demon thing.  Really Kev?  This flick tops that and then some.  I don't mind crude humor and to be honest, that's what I pegged this flick for as far as tone is concerned--the Batman and Robin skit was a perfect example of this and is the only enjoyable aspect of the movie--but this isn't crude humor.  Family Guy is crude humor (which is ironic as Seth MacFarlane makes an appearance and his show is mentioned), but this is just offensive.  A skit about guys freaking out over a girl's period, a home school parenting piece that'll make your skin crawl and I'm pretty sure I'll never look at Hugh Jackman or Halle Berry the same way again (you don't want to know).

My other concern comes in the form of this film's rating.  14A.  Seriously?  Is that a joke?  We've got obscene language from all over the spectrum, violence, some gory scenes and lots of nudity--and maybe it's just me, but when the southern mo-hawk makes an appearance (yes, that mo-hawk), I think we've waded into R rated waters.  One of the supposed gags here is Dennis Quaid trying to pitch this collection of shorts as a film and forcing Greg Kinnear to buy it at gunpoint.  Maybe this is based loosely on true events, because someone had to have been threatened at gunpoint to green light this atrocity.    

MOVIE 43 is one of the worst movies I've ever had the displeasure of sitting through (where's Peter Stormare when you need him, I could've used a Replacer).  There's tasteless humor via pushing the envelope and then there's nonsense like this which simply eats the envelope and pukes it back up in our faces.  I'd rather eat a bag of chocolate covered razor blades while getting my toes and fingers amputated with a cheese grater and eyelids peeled back with a hair curler after being lit on fire, than sit through this mess again.  Yes, it's that terrible.  Somewhere the movie gods are plotting their revenge and will probably drop a mountain on someone's face while their sleeping.  I hope it hurts.  Oh, do I hope it hurts.


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